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Everything You've Ever Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask

Questions Men Want to Ask

How do I know if my penis is big enough?

The simple answer is that a woman’s vagina is built to comfortably accommodate just about any size penis, with a snug enough fit to allow for mutual enjoyment.  Contemporary society has become obsessed with penis size without any justification. A look at classical painting and sculpture shows penises much closer to that of the average male.
 


How hard should my erection be?
 
Research indicates that men have a tendency to underestimate erection hardness. The biological function of an erection is to allow for penis-vagina penetration. Since the vaginal track is lined with flexible, spongy material, even a partially erect penis can allow for full intercourse.
 


Sometimes I don’t get hard, what should I do?
 
If this happens often, this condition is known as erectile dysfunction, and there are many possible causes, some physical, some emotional. See a certified sex therapist who can do a detailed evaluation and suggest a course of treatment.
 


What should I do if I can’t ejaculate?
 
First, schedule an examination by a competent urologist, to determine if there is physiological cause for this condition (e.g. illness, medication or injury). If that is not the case, see a certified sex therapist who can do a detailed evaluation and suggest a course of treatment.
 


How long should I stay hard before ejaculating?
 
There is no specific time frame for this, it’s a matter of whether a man or his partner may desire a longer time. There are several ways to lengthen the time of erection and   intercourse and a sex therapist can explain the options.
 
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Questions Woman Want to Ask
 
Does intercourse always hurt?
 
Intercourse should not hurt and if there is vaginal pain, the first stop is your ob/gyn. While many women experience painful intercourse sometime in their lives, this problem is highly treatable and no one should ever feel that this condition will always be present.


 
What is an orgasm and how do I get there?
 
Many women experience orgasm as the most intensely pleasurable aspect of sexual experiences. The mechanism of orgasm is complex and women may reach that response in various ways. The sites below give excellent, detailed explanations and sources of information.


 
If I am just too tired or feeling that I need to take care of other things first, what should I tell my husband?
 
Tell him the truth in as intimate a language as you can. You can also suggest that he give you a hand in dealing with various tasks, so you are both available to each that much sooner.
 


I think my husband is looking at pornography, help!
 
First, don’t assume that all is lost. There are a number of reasons people look at pornography and different ways in which people are affected. See a therapist who is competent to deal with both marital and sexual issues. This is not a matter of sexual addiction so don’t go that route when looking for help.

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Questions Couples Want to Ask
 
What if one of us wants to try something new and the other doesn’t?
 
Here is a rule that many couples find helpful – either partner can suggest anything and either partner can say no. If no is the answer, perhaps suggest another time or another sexual alternative, so no one feels rejected or coerced.


 
Should we use sex toys?
 
Many couples and individuals find that sex toys add to their enjoyment. This site provides a wide range of choices along with explanations. Some options may be more suitable for individual use whiles others are designed to enhance a couple’s intimate pleasure. You are best off starting with something simple like a basic vibrator.


 
How often should we intimate?
 
As often as is comfortable and desirous for both of you. There is no magic number and don’t be influenced by “averages” that appear in the media.


 
We like foreplay but not intercourse, are we normal?
 
The only rule is - you should feel free to engage in those activities you both enjoy and you are the only ones to make this decision. 

For visual aids on both the male and female anatomy refer to these links:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/sexuality/reproductive-sexual-anatomy

http://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/understanding-your-body/female-sexual-organs

http://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/understanding-your-body/male-sexual-organs